Mar 2, 2012

Hong Kong - Peels of laughter as shop thief slips up in giant banana drama



A thief was captured by a cop dressed as a giant banana. (This is the sort of story that columnists like me dream of and pray for nightly, so thank you, God.)

A part-time police volunteer named Luke Summerhayes was recently doing his day job, working at a supermarket in Britain. As part of his duties, he was dressed as a giant banana. I've worked at supermarkets, and this is not the worst of the jobs you have to do.

Suddenly the shoplifting alarm went off. Luke did not have time to take off his costume, and just raced after the thief as he was, flying across the shop in his two-meter-tall rig. The villain was proceeding at a steady pace across the car park when the giant banana raced out of nowhere and arrested him.

Luke told reporters afterwards: "He looked pretty surprised." This line may put him in the running for "Understatement of the Year."

The story was forwarded to me by reader Sunita Chau, who said: "Observers must have been in `peels' of laughter, ha ha ha."

Groanworthy puns aside, I can see this as the beginning of a real-life superhero saga. But first, Luke needs some banana powers. Perhaps he could have a banana-skin-firing gun that makes criminals slip and fall.

Talking of crime, robbery victims are defeating villains by simply ignoring them, according to items sent for my Dumb Criminals File.

In one recent case, a would-be robber walked into a bank and demanded cash. The teller said: "Sorry, this window is closed."

The robber apologetically moved away to a teller window that was actively serving customers. The second teller pointed out that there was a queue, telling him he had to "wait in line" to rob the bank.

In the queue, a customer scolded the man for not lowering the hood of his hoodie indoors. The harassed villain gave up and left the bank in the US city of Boston, the Boston Globe reported.

I recall a similar incident in Hong Kong. A man stormed into a bank in Kowloon and announced he was robbing it. Staff declined to empty the vaults, explaining that they were far too busy for that kind of thing.

Last week in Holland, a masked man entered a bar and leveled a gun at people inside. Too busy drinking and chatting, they ignored him. It's on YouTube, including the deflated robber's sad exit. Moral of these tales: You need personality to be a robber. It's not for everyone.

One more legal story: a US woman whose children were taken from her by social workers demanded US$900 trillion (HK$7.02 quadrillion) in compensation last week. Critics say the fact that Fausat Ogunbayo, 46, thinks time with her children is worth all the money in the world shows she is mentally unstable. I think it shows that her values are right on target.

The Standard



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