Three years ago, Benjamin Tan, then 15, often
played truant from school.
It
pained his mother, housewife May Tan, 46, who feared he would fall in with the
wrong crowd and fall behind on his grades. Her remonstrations did little to help.
He tuned her out.
So, she
cut a deal with him: complete two months of moral education classes, and she
would lay off the nagging.
For
good measure, she paid for his drum lessons.
Tan
shelled out $280 for eight weekly classes at non-profit organization Xiyao
Culture Association, which runs secular lessons imparting values like filial
piety, respect and concern for others through story-telling, poetry, skits and
team activities.
The
association has consistently had more than 50 students aged three to 16 in such
classes since 2004.
The
classes of about 20 students with volunteer mentors forced Benjamin to confront
the dynamics of the parent-child relationship.
Having
to act out the role of a parent in skits, for example, put him in a parent’s
shoes and set him thinking.
In one
class, for example, he had to confront his parents’ mortality, when told a
story about a poor man who became rich but could not enjoy his affluence
because he longed for those poorer but happier days when his parents were still
alive.
Benjamin,
now 18, said: “The classes touched my heart, changed my mind. As a child, you
always think your parents are invincible, but I started to see that they have
their own worries about their health and finances, without worrying about mine
too.”
Other
parents turn to character-development classes run by their church, mosque or
temple, with these tied to the values linked with their faiths.
Housewife
Joyce Chin, 44, said she does not have disciplinary problems with her three
children aged 11 to 16, but puts them through classes at Xiyao to build their
character.
“It is
‘inner good education’ for when they grow up and face adverse situations, so
that they do the right thing,” she said.
She has
read enough news reports about bright young scholarship-holders going astray.
“They
may do very well academically, but they use their cleverness in the wrong way,”
she said.
Parents
may be responding to Education Minister Heng Swee Keat’s announcement last
September that character education and values will be put front and center in
schools.
This is
all the better to keep young Singaporeans grounded in moral resolve, confidence
and self-awareness in a world where traditional social structures are
crumbling, he said.
It is
an issue parents are thinking about. On the education portal kiasuparents.com,
there is a discussion thread on where moral-education enrichment classes are
being run.
Xiyao
Culture Association teacher Tham Hup Leng says the school has not had a boom in
enrollment for the classes it runs, but has definitely fielded more calls
inquiring about them in the past two years.
Some
may say the onus should be on parents, not teachers, to instill values, but
Chin believes in exposing her children to as many adults as possible so they
absorb more.
“It
still takes a village to raise a child,” she said.
But
child counselors and psychologists say ‘teaching character’ can be tricky.
Raymond
Cheong, from the Children/Youth Learning & Development Center, says
character is ‘caught and not taught’, in that children learn from making
mistakes, so it is better to correct bad behavior than to introduce
good-behavior “rules.”
Psychologist
Daniel Koh says learning character in a classroom can be restrictive, as values
are dynamic.
Koh,
who runs private practice Insights Mind Center, said: “Moral values are
something alive and progressive. They are reinforced by family values, culture,
people, experiences and society. They are not something that lessons can cover
or maintain, as they have to be practiced and constantly reinforced.”
Straits
Times
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